Letting GoSeptember 25, 2018 2020-05-13 9:21
I have been sick for the past two weeks, and will probably take at least another two weeks to totally recover.
I don’t get sick much and I am used to an active, outdoor lifestyle – either teaching outside or being on adventures with my own dogs.
I am not good at letting go. I am not good at abandoning perfectionism and abandoning commitments – canceling classes or private lessons and telling people I just cannot be there.
I am not good at saying no – saying no to friends and especially saying no to my own dogs. It kills me to see them trying to get me off the couch – by bringing toys, by doing tricks and then in increasing frustration barking and jumping up and down. I can take them for very short walks, and they run back and forth confused as to why I am not running with them.
The three of them react very differently, Fusion is generally the calmest of my dogs and he mostly sleeps close (but not touching), every now and then waking up and covering my face with kisses in a rush of concern. The puppy doesn’t understand at all, he is still tirelessly trying to bring me the one toy that will finally revive my interest in playing (such as an apple he stole in the kitchen). Kix is the most perceptive – she lays very close, usually with a paw on my leg or arm, moving very slowly and carefully. Her expression is one of genuine sadness: tucked tail, pinned back ears. I feel the worst for her and not being able to give her what would make her truly happy at this moment, a healthy me.
And so I am practicing the one thing that I am really bad at: Not doing anything. Not moving, not working, not training. Letting go.
And thinking of all the adventures we will go on in a little while.
(Read more about the art of slowing things down with your dogs – Slow Down)